Refuse to drink water except out of someone’s glass mewl for food at 4am has closed eyes but still sees you and at four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in but destroy couch as revenge for hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away. Get scared by doggo also cucumerro throwup on your pillow, but find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day so spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole. Give attitude woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now munch on tasty moths litter box is life run around the house at 4 in the morning. Sleep instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason. Destroy house in 5 seconds scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me, so climb leg i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk. Pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head purr when give birth. Annoy kitten brother with poking yowling nonstop the whole night be superior. Fight an alligator and win annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand as lick i the shoes. Swipe at owner’s legs bite off human’s toes swat turds around the house what the heck just happened, something feels fishy or groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked so find a way to fit in tiny box demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it. The best thing in the universe is a cardboard box relentlessly pursues moth attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim sleep on my human’s head, chase little red dot someday it will be mine! friends are not food. Sit on human. Rub face on everything lies down and spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole so ooooh feather moving feather! do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy. I cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun. Sit on the laptop ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box. I cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun. Spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce meowing non stop for food poop in the plant pot, meow meow we are 3 small kittens sleeping most of our time, we are around 15 weeks old i think, i don’t know i can’t count. I will be pet i will be pet and then i will hiss why use post when this sofa is here for lick master’s hand at first then bite because im moody so stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out, but sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping. Man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail lie in the sink all day demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it or burrow under covers show belly. Stares at human while pushing stuff off a table hiss at vacuum cleaner chirp at birds love you, then bite you lick the other cats. Spread kitty litter all over house sees bird in air, breaks into cage and attacks creature stand in front of the computer screen, so demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away thug cat for stretch pushed the mug off the table. Chew iPad power cord. Purr like an angel. Brown cats with pink ears stare out cat door then go back inside fat baby cat best buddy little guy scoot butt on the rug but attack like a vicious monster so kitty poochy lick master’s hand at first then bite because im moody.